The Westside Writers Schmooze Returns!

“BLOG” MEANS NEVER HAVING TO SAY YOU’RE SORRY

*** or ***

HOW WE LEARNED TO STOP FRETTING ABOUT THESE BLOG POSTS 

BEING LATE (IN THIS CASE, RIDICULOUSLY SO) AND JUST GET ON WITH IT!

Ah, Schmoozers – how we’ve missed you!  But fret not – the Westside Writers Schmooze resumes in just a few short weeks. 

Since summer’s really, really fun, we never got around to recapping the June Schmooze on revision (okay, we are sorry), so we thought we’d take this opportunity to, briefly, do that (briefly?...you’ll believe that when you see it, right?) and provide a sneak peek at the very exciting upcoming Schmooze year, which runs from September 2012 through June 2013.

After the usual announcements, intros, and some tales from the Critiquenic which had happened a few weeks earlier, Charlie kicked off the revision discussion with a moving metaphor.  And by “moving” we don’t mean emotion-eliciting (which, let’s face it, is not exactly Charlie’s bailiwick) we mean literally moving, like as in “change of address.”

You see, Charlie and his family had recently moved, and it got him to thinking about how moving and revision are the same (it’s a good thing Mr. Self-Involved didn’t recently have a stomach flu or the opening metaphor would have been very unpleasant indeed). 

Here’s a little of what he said:

      Why is moving so painful?  Cause you’re taking apart a life you’ve built for yourself over the years.  It wasn’t perfect; in fact there were many things you found obnoxious: the overstuffed garage, the lack of things on the wall you really like, maybe even the setup of the house itself.  But still, it was your home and, as such, it served you fairly well.  And now you’re ripping it apart, ripping its guts out, going through all the crap, and deciding… ENDLESS DECIDING… what crap you need and what crap is crap and what crap is crap but with enough emotional heft that you want to keep it with you and lug it to the new place and try to find somewhere to fit it in. 

      It’s the same with your book.  You take something that kind of holds together, you pull it into its separate parts, and then you appraise the parts.  And, like moving, once you’ve ripped everything apart and it’s lying in pieces all around you, it’s overwhelming.  How could there possibly be so many interlocking pieces to your life/book?  And now that they’re not interlocking, what, exactly, was the point of saving that walking matzo ball that’s been gathering dust on your desk for 20 years?

      After you get rid of the obvious garbage, you‘re left with daunting questions:  what do you do with the rest?  How do you decide what to keep and, if you do keep it, where you’ll put it in the new place?  Will the new place even work with your old junk?  It’s so scary that, if you hadn’t already signed the lease, you might well not move at all.  But you did, so you gotta.

      And this is where the metaphor is valuable:  once you decide your project needs work, sign the lease on the new draft.  Don’t listen to folks telling you it’s good enough if you know in your heart that it isn’t.  Sign the lease so that you know that by the end of the month you have to move your shit out of the old draft and start placing it in the new version.  You’ll be glad you did.

This launched us into a discussion of why rewrites are so scary.  Why are we so often faced with such angst? 

This novel is terrible. I can never fix this. If I try to do anything like X suggested, I will fail; maybe she can do it, but I can't. Was all my effort wasted? Will I freeze up and be unable to write anything else, ever?

The answer to why we have so much angst is something like – because we’re human, and worse creative humans.  We’re going to have our doubts, our anxieties, but we must push through the angst and get on with the business of improving our work and making it the absolute best it can be.

So just how do we do that?  How do we internalize feedback, determine what’s valuable, and apply it to our work in ways that feel organic and germane to the stories we’re trying to tell?  We dunno.  Thankfully, you Schmoozers were full of incredible suggestions:

• Look at your emotional beats.  Are they all the same?
• Work backwards, scene by scene, thinking in terms of cause and effect: does each scene propel the story into the one that follows?
• Think like illustrators, who often start with gesture lines, and build from there; don’t get bogged down in the details.  (Charlie loves this one!)
• Don’t attempt to write “the perfect draft” – they always stink.
• You don’t need to cover everything in one rewrite.  Try tackling one set of problems (i.e. character development, plotting issues, etc.) to start.

Longtime Schmoozer and Cricket contributor Joseph Taylor wasn’t able to attend, but was kind enough to contribute (via an e-mail to Karol) some valuable words of warning about taking advice too literally.  Here's an excerpt:

A helpful critique is one in which the person offering it understands what it is the writer is trying to do, points out the good points as well as the bad, and offers suggestions for improvement where possible. 

Seeking sound feedback is not a luxury for the writer; it’s a necessity.  Still, securing feedback does not absolve the writer of revising his or her own work.  The writer who simply does what someone else suggests and doesn’t find places to improve her own work isn’t doing her job.  The writer is Reviser-in-Chief.

As important as getting feedback is, suggestions for improvement are not always on target.  While those who critique usually have good intentions, they can be hasty, not fully grasp a point of reference, or try to remake a piece the way they would do it.  It’s the writer’s job to smoke these out, and set aside such comments when necessary.  I would go so far as to say that if the writer is not rejecting some feedback, she is not engaged enough in her own revision process.

The best providers of feedback are like the best editors; they help you improve your work—sometimes noticeably so—yet they always manage to allow you to retain ownership of it.  That’s as it should be.  Those who give feedback do not have ownership of your piece; you do.

The great Ray Bradbury once offered a withering assessment of those who suggested he redo some of his work.  It can be found here: http://www.cato-at-liberty.org/censoring-ray-bradbury/

Hence, Karol’s tip from Don Roos that she always seems to come back to:

• Only take feedback from people who love and “get” your work.  They’re the ones who are best suited to help you improve your story.

Karol also loves these great (previously shared at a Schmooze) tips from an interview with YA writer Allen Zadoff and his publisher, Elizabeth Law, on dealing with feedback (or, as former screenwriter Zadoff calls them, “notes”). 

Allen at the Schmooze, December 2011
Photo credit: Rita Crayon Huang, Copyright ©2012

Here’s an excerpt from the interview:

“…the ego is always hurt when first receiving notes. I think it’s natural because the author really only wants to hear one thing: “It’s genius. Don’t change a word.”

But that’s not the real world, and it’s not what makes you a better author. The most important thing I’ve learned is that the hurt reaction is just the first impulse. I don’t have to do anything about it. I let it pass like a summer storm.

Once it’s blown itself out, I move to the more interesting place of sorting out the feedback. They generally fall into four categories.

·       1. Notes I agree with.

·       2. Notes I disagree with.

·       3. Notes I intuitively feel are wrong, but I’m not sure.

·       4. Notes I intuitively feel are right, but I’m not sure.

·       As I think about it, there is a fifth category: Notes I don’t understand and I need more clarification.”

Read the whole interview here:  http://cynthialeitichsmith.blogspot.com/2011/05/interview-publisher-elizabeth-law.html

And there were LOTS of tips from other online articles and interviews as well.  Here are some links to explore:

http://blog.nathanbransford.com/2009/11/how-to-respond-to-manuscript.html

http://sophiepembroke.com/2011/03/05/learning-to-love-the-edit/

http://voices.yahoo.com/how-revise-fiction-going-through-editing-process-506498.html?cat=4

Eventually, it was time to wrap up and say our goodbyes for the summer hiatus (though many of us knew we’d be seeing each other at the National Conference in August). 

We, your humble co-coordinators, would be remiss not to mention that we felt a great deal of love coming back at us at this Schmooze – and throughout our first full year of duty.  You’ve made our job easy and fun with your participation and general awesomeness – so we thank you!  With your continued assistance, we’re set to have another year of amazing Schmoozes.

The details are now posted on the SCBWI So-Cal Calendar (http://www.scbwisocal.org/calendar.htm), but here are a few highlights:

• Two (2!) Guest Speaker nights.
• Two critiques nights – but a little later this year, since the LA County Writer’s Days are much earlier.  Both critique nights will be in time for the National Conference manuscript consultation deadline.
• A couple nights where we take on ethics issues – sex, violence, hate speech and more.  These Schmoozes will explore the idea of how far is too far?  If we are completely authentic in our depictions of kids, teens and the sometimes shady people around them, are we somehow endorsing bad behavior?
• Explorations of niche markets, reality-busting stories and books we just plain LOVE.

We’ll also be co-sponsoring a screening of Library Of The Early Mind with the Santa Monica Public Library.  More info on the film, described as “an exploration of the art and impact of children’s literature on our kids, our culture, and ourselves” can be found here http://www.libraryoftheearlymind.com/.

The screening’s set for Saturday, December 1^st at 2 PM at the SMPL Main Branch (we may plan an informal Kid Lit Happy Hour event afterward as well) so SAVE THE DATE!

But, first things first.  The Schmooze resumes Wednesday, September 12^th with a Conference Recap/Query How-To night, where you’ll be able to relive all the glory of the conference – or live vicariously though those lucky stiffs who got to attend – and get your questions about writing great query letters answered.  We’ll even spend some time critiquing Schmoozers’ own query letters, so it’s an evening you definitely DON’T want to miss!

We really can’t wait to see everyone again!

Until then, keep passing the open windows,

Charlie & Karol

As an added treat, here are a few Schmoozetastic photos from the conference! 

(Check out many more on Rita's blog:  http://rhcrayon.livejournal.com/92699.html)

Charlie & Rita hanging at the Hippie Hop.
Photo credit: Rita Crayon Huang, Copyright ©2012

Jeff enjoyed the Hippie Hop, too!
Photo credit: Rita Crayon Huang, Copyright ©2012

Rita, Lee and Sara at the Hippie Hop.
Photo credit: Rita Crayon Huang, Copyright ©2012

Wait, who let these zombie into the Hippie Hop?!
Photo credit: Rita Crayon Huang, Copyright ©2012

Karol, Rita, Mara and Jen enjoying the Crystal Kite Luncheon
Photo credit: Rita Crayon Huang, Copyright ©2012

The Schmooze's own Sara Wilson Etienne at her breakout session!
Photo credit: Rita Crayon Huang, Copyright ©2012

June in Bloom in Hollywood

June Hollywood Schmooze
Jennifer Rofe, special guest from Andrea Brown Literary Agency.

Jennifer spoke of how she became an agent and went over opening segments from books she sold. Her stories of working with authors on their revisions and standing by them until they sold their first novel were heartening.

She is warm and intelligent, a young woman who loves her profession, and has the utmost respect (one might even say, love) for writers who she shepherds through the arduous task of first-time publication. And she sticks by her authors as they continue their writing careers.

the flowers on the way to the door

Why does one need an agent?

She replied: Why would you not want an agent?

Going into a deal with a major publishing firm without one, she said, is fool-hearty and naïve. You may get a deal, but it will not be anywhere near what you could have gotten with an agent and you may even get “scre—d.” (This is me paraphrasing, of course.)

So, do not fear the friendly agent. Find one who fits your style and go with it…so what if they take a cut off the top – that’s their livelihood! And that’s how you know that they are working as hard as they possibly can to get you the best deal possible – because they are working for themselves at the same time.

Rhonda Hayter on the left, schmoozing with a participant.

More schmoozing...

Our location...in case you were wondering! Very Hollywoody, n'est pas?
We also had another guest, Rita Crayon. We look forward to seeing your photos, Rita. Thanks for coming!

  

San Fran Vly - Glendale Area... Montrose Illus

WOW!! What a great meeting and new writers and illustrator peeps so glad you could join us for our 5th yr anniversary! And Yum.. hot brownies... had to do it, sorry for those on a summer diet, the party would not be complete without HOT Brownies.

Great work and nice developing portfolios.
So much great talent. I love to see the wide variety of styles that comes from our group.  We have a wide range, Pastels, Watercolor, Acrylic, Computer Digital Painted, Cut Paper, Ebook Animation, and Comic style.. so many. So glad to see that.

So everyone keep up with your portfolios and we can do maybe a mini show on-line with our newest works!!! Yay we get a web page for this with the SCBWI and I can email all our work to Rita to be posted.

We discussed Scanning our work with a high end not so expensive scanner, I will try to get that info for us. We also discussed digital painting and that there is a new schmooze that may be forming for strictly digital work and, I believe that will include ebooks... so that info will be coming in the near future.

We welcome our newcomers... Joanne, Great cards and the art looks like it will fit right in nicely with children's book illus. The discussion of Postcards came up and we all were in agreement that they are GOOD a plus, because they are a cheap way to promote your illus. and they can be sent to Art Dir and Publishers.. and to hand out it is fun, also for the SCBWI conf. Check out Vista Print or Moo, also your local printers, I found Minute Man Press is really cheap and sets up your art the size it needs to be, with your name and info etc, Monique is great and they have been there in Glendale forever.

Also newcomer Alice, with her great book dummy 'Milo'. Great start, we had a lot of input, hope it was not overwhelming, such a great idea for a positive book. Keep going and share with us as you go along. Linda was back again with her ebook layouts, nice work, like to see the progression. We had a new Jason (I hope this is correct) with YOU'RE COLOR self pub book and your 'Charley Counting Crow' ... Nice styles, we did discuss having too many styles and that prob. is not a good idea to have more then 3... maybe even 2 in a portfolio. That it is a good idea to stick with the style that you feel most comfortable with and enjoy the most, because you don't want to get a job doing 32 pgs and have it be some style that is too new or not one that you are best at.

Terry shared her cut paper portfolio and has so many new works, great job Terry, you are sooo busy and yet you still create new work on a reg basis, nice! Makes me jealous, but also motivated. We talked about having more different angles and point of views, close ups and such vs. a lot of the same kind of layouts. Makes it more exciting to view.. Jason, nice portfolio, welcome back... looks so great on the ipad.. and we discussed consistency and style and using comp aided design and watercolor, also CONGRATS to your new published comic book JIMMY BRASS!!! Great Job!

All was so wonderfun.. ok i am keeping that typo... was a slip but sounds great to me.. should be a word!

Thank you all for the great words, I know I have a lot of work to do.. large or small.. I will be trying out new stuff and sharing in Sept... or earlier if we can pull together some art for our site page.

Ok peace out.. I am off to Cabo and would love to take you all with me. :) Jen Swain

The May Westside Writers Schmooze talks Location, Location, Location!

On May 9^th, twenty-seven Schmoozers gathered for a discussion on the importance of setting and location at our longtime Schmooze home, the Fairview Branch of the Santa Monica Public Library.

“And what a lovely location the Fairview Branch of the Santa Monica Public Library is for our Schmooze!” co-coordinator Karol feels compelled to interject, as she remembers the previous two or three meeting spots, which were not nearly as comfy and accommodating.

After some announcements – registration for both the SCBWI Summer Conference and SCBWI LA County Working Writers Retreat  are open and filling up! (wait list only for the retreat) – we had a brief recap of Schmoozers’ favorite moments from last month’s SCBWI LA County’s Writer’s Days, which included lots of inspiring speeches and, even better, super-inspiring intensives. Kudos to our bro, (former Schmooze co-coordinator) Lee Wind and the wonderful Sarah Laurence for pulling off a home run on their first at-bat.

Most excitingly – some congratulations were in order:  Our own (co-coordinator) Charlie Cohen and Lupe Fernandez placed in the Writer’s Day contest!  Way to represent, guys!

“Why thank you, Karol,” says Charlie, “I know I speak for Lupe as well when I say WE WUZ ROBBED!!  We shoulda got first place… or BETTER!  Uh, that is… it was so wonderful just to be recognized.”

 During this month’s intros, Schmoozers were invited to mention a setting or location that is of  particular importance in their own manuscripts.  This resulted in a globe-hopping demonstration of the diversity of our group (or at least the diversity of where we’ve set our stories), with books set in Kenya, Hiroshima, the Bahamas, Cuba, Puerto Rico and Texas.  We also had some fun fantasy and fictional settings, including a book that takes place underwater (!) and one in a cool, fictitious town in Oregon. 

One Schmoozer humorously reported that the setting of his book is a crappy, “low rent” fantasy world.  This really excited Charlie as he actually lives in one of those (emotionally anyway).

Ultimately, a wise Schmoozer summed things up beautifully by noting that often the locations we use are amalgams of all the places we’ve lived. To wit, Karol mentioned that her personal familiarity with Veterans Stadium in Philadelphia enabled her to really bring her novel about a young girl who hangs out at a major league baseball stadium to life.

Additionally, longtime Schmoozer Sara Wilson Etienne is on record saying that the very beginnings of her debut novel Harbinger stemmed from her wanting to set a story in the unique location of the college she attended.

Charlie recalled Sara’s advice years earlier to collect pictures of locations that look like your story’s setting and put them on your walls.  He also spoke of trying to find facsimiles of his imagined worlds in real life.  While working on a supernatural story set in Texas, he spent a lot of time biking in the dried out parts of Griffith Park and the Santa Monica mountains.  

One windy day, he was stopped short by a loud ominous, howling sound.  It turned out to be the wind vibrating the high power lines but, for Charlie, it was the thing he’d been waiting for.  That eerie moment really set the tone for his imagined town and his story.  “What a happy accident,” as a certain Mr. Pincus might say.  But of course, Charlie being Charlie, he had to fess up that he then became so enamored of his location, he forgot to populate it with real, breathing characters.  Charlie just can’t abide happy endings. 

So as not to depress everyone even further, Karol quickly opened the floor to a general discussion of location.  She began by focusing on books that are dependent on the cities in which they’re set.  And where better to start but with In the Night Kitchen by Maurice Sendak who, sadly, had just passed away.  Charlie talked about how the book could only have taken place in New York City – albeit a fairly bizarre version of the Big Apple.  Charlie also shared a lovely tribute to Sendak printed in the New York Times.  (Read it HERE.)  Our community of children’s book writers and illustrators had lost a real treasure, and we made sure to take a moment to honor his brilliance.

Other examples of city-specific books included the New York-set Nick and Nora’s Infinite Playlist by Rachel Cohn and David Levithan, Los Angeles-specific stories by CecilCastellucci (Boy Proof, Beige,) and Francesca Lia Block (Weetzie Bat books, among others), the hardscrabble Hard Pan in The Higher Power of Lucky by Susan Patron and the early days of Philadelphia where Laurie Halse Anderson sets much of her historical middle grade fiction.

We then noted that many children’s books feature That Very Special Place – a location that is not only special to the book’s characters but represents an unfamiliar place which stands to captivate young readers.  The barn in Charlotte’s Web (E.B. White) is a prime example of a setting that becomes special to both Wilbur the pig and the readers of this classic.

Brian Selznick had made great use of special locations in his genre-busting novel-picture book hybrids, using a Paris train station of the 1930s for The Invention of Hugo Cabaret and New York’s American Museum of Natural History in Wonderstruck. In Hugo, Selznick treats readers not only to the hustle and bustle of the train station’s public places, but also to the fascinating “behind the scenes” areas within the walls, where Hugo travels, unseen, tending to the station clocks. Many Schmoozers noted that this was one of the great values of location: taking readers somewhere they’ve never been.



Brian Selznick wove this curiosity, 

a historic panorama of New York City 

from the 1964 World’s Fair, into his 

novel Wonderstruck.

Louis Sachar’s Holes introduces readers to the dismal Camp Green Lake with the short but telling statement that opens the book:  “There is no lake at Camp Green Lake.”   Fans of the book know that the lack of a lake is but the beginning of the long list of unfair things at Camp Green Lake.  In Holes, the unjust camp is the perfect setting for the unjust situation in which protagonist Stanley Yelnats finds himself. 

A sinister school is another oft and effectively-used location for many great kids books, places like the Holbrook Academy from Etienne’s Harbinger, Crunchem Hall Primary School from Roald Dahl’s Matilda, Spence Academy from Libba Bray’s A Great and Terrible Beauty, and the corrupt Catholic prep school from Robert Cormier’s The Chocolate War.

Of course, all schools aren’t sinister.  Some are downright magical, like Hogwarts.  (J.K. Rowling has often said that the real subject of her books was boarding school.)  Try to imagine the Harry Potter series without Hogwarts, and you’ll get a sense of how important setting is – and how great books tend to have great settings.

And when it comes to fantasy – from Narnia to Middle-Earth to Oz to Whoville, setting is almost always an integral part of the story. 

Some books utilize starkly different locales within the same story, which further illuminate character and plot.  Consider the difference between the bleak existence in District 12 vs. the gaudy glitz of the Capitol vs. the treacherous arena where the Hunger Games are played.

After all the talk of fun and fantastical settings, some Schmoozers fretted that their books mainly took place at the homes of their characters, but their fears were quickly put to rest.  Home is where kids find themselves most of the time – but these places can also have plenty of magic to them.  Karol gave the example of the lovely latest middle grade novel by Joanne Rocklin, One Day and One Amazing Morning on Orange Street.  It tells the story of a group of kids, all from the same block, who collectively experience trepidation when an orange cone shows up beside the empty lot where they’ve played their whole lives.  The novel is told through multiple points-of-view, as the kids reveal truths about themselves and slowly unravel the mystery of the orange cone.  When it’s discovered that a beloved tree is in jeopardy, the kids band together to save it.  Here, the setting is completely commonplace – an average block, in an average town – but it’s completely special to the characters and, thanks to Rocklin’s wonderful writing, to the readers as well.

And here’s a bit of Schmooze trivia:  Joanne Rocklin, formerly of the Los Angeles area, was the person who gave our monthly meeting its name.  She was among the early SCBWI pioneers who started our Schmooze, with the meetings being held in the game room of the condo building where she lived at the time.  Joanne got a kick out of hearing folks unfamiliar with Yiddish stumbling when they tried to pronounce the word “schmooze” (it was a much lesser-known term at the time).

Knowing that Joanne is a writer who believes setting is of the utmost importance in books, Karol e-mailed Joanne to get her input on this topic.

Here’s what Joanne had to say:

“Setting affects everything:  dialogue, characters, actions and motivations, plot.  I sort of think of ‘time’ as part of setting, too, i.e. time period.  And once you have your setting, a good place to start thinking about your book, by the way, you get ideas for the story/plot itself.   For example:  I'm starting a new book (starting is the hardest part of the process – so many choices!) and I chose Oakland's rural hills, which have a lot of horse trails.  Not sure why; just because.  I began there.  Then I read something about the equestrian history of the area, and decided to set it in the 50's.  Which made me think of the polio epidemic.  Which made me think of the therapeutic use of horses...you can see how the setting gives ideas.  I believe that ‘details’ are vital to make your work come alive, and once you have your setting, the details are there.  So many manuscripts I've read for kids are kind of ‘blah’ and sound the same, because the beginning authors aren't thinking of settings they really know, or researching the ones they don't.”

With our time waning, we decided to finish with an exercise:  Make a map of your character’s street or another special location in your book.  If you missed the Schmooze, go ahead and try this exercise.  What you will come up with may surprise you!

Bummed you missed out on all the fun?  Then be sure to join us for out next Schmooze – HOW WE LEARNED TO STOP FRETTING AND LOVE THE REWRITE – on Wednesday, June 13^th.  All Schmoozer’s in attendance are invited to share a before-and-after example of a paragraph or passage from your own work that has benefited from revision.

And here's a last little Sendak fun before we sign off....

Keep passing the open windows,

Charlie & Karol

Hollywood Schmooze Critique Night

If you want to see this famous L.A. landmark on your way to the SCBWI Hollywood Schmooze:
Just head East on Wilshire Blvd. past Fairfax Avenue. On the left, you'll see the streets lights
at LACMA (LA County Museum of Art.) Our meeting place is just a few blocks past this spot and  about 5 blocks south. (Not that anyone needs directions anymore with mapquest!)

Last session, about fifteen of us stuck to a tight schedule and provided feedback for 10 minutes each on ten people's work. We accomplished a lot and the format was excellent! Thanks, Rene.

The range of writing being presented (we emailed 5 pages in advance) was remarkable. Great stuff, everyone! There were a few picture books, a few middle grade novels, a few non-fiction pieces and a few YA novels.

And the observations were on target too. I walked out inspired and a bit overwhelmed but very happy to be even to the point in my writing where I could receive such pointed criticism. The suggestions I got were ones I needed to hear -- and  I love that, when you go to a critique session and you hear just what you needed to hear...all the voices inside you that you are trying to ignore, suddenly come alive.

I am not sure if there is much more to say since I can't go into the details about each submitted story, though I would certainly love to. They are all so fantastic and I can't wait to see them in print.

Westside Writer's Schmooze Brings The Funny

Wea Culpa! We apologize for the lateness of this post, but after mercilessly berating you all at the last Schmooze to be sure to read our blog posts, we both became terrified that you actually would! The idea of having an audience froze us in our tracks and it was only the terror of facing you without having done our work that got us moving again.

 Here, then, is… The COMEDY TONIGHT Schmooze Recap:

The evening got started with a little, well, humor –

Charlie: “Hey Karol, how many writers does it take to screw in a light bulb?”
Karol: “(sighs)… I knew you were going to screw up the joke.”

Okay, so after the flubbed opening joke and after Karol’s usual annoying, guilt-inducing announcements of all the really cool and useful and rewarding contests and SCBWI things (check 'em out HERE) that you’re not gonna do, even though you know you should be doing them and that if you were doing them you’d not only feel better but actually be better off, and THIS is why your family is right that you have no discipline and will never amount to anything, but who are they to judge, anyway— half of them are drunks and the other half puritanical self-satisfied prigs—really, it’s enough to make a person take to his bed, and since you’re under the weather like this, how can anyone expect you to go to SCBWI events anyway…

Where were we? Right! After announcements came introductions…and this month we asked Schmoozers to also name a favorite funny book. Man-oh-man, did our “to read” piles grow in the time it took to go around the room. Here’s just a taste of the fabulous funny fiction the Schmoozers mentioned:

• I Am A Genius of Unspeakable Evil/M.T. Anderson
• Angus Thongs and Full Frontal Snogging/Louise Rennison
• Al Capone Does My Shirts/Gennifer Choldenko
• Pete the Cat /Eric Litwin & James dean
• I Was a Teenage Dwarf/Max Shulman
• The Stupids Die/Harry G. Allard Jr. & James Marshall
• Harry the Dirty Dog/Gene Zion & Margaret Bloy Graham
• Me Speak Pretty One Day/David Sedaris
• Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy/Douglas Adams

After the intros, we got down to the business of the night:  comedy.

What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making them puke.
—Steve Martin

Charlie began the hilarity by telling the story of putting his dog Andre to sleep. Specifically, he discussed how bad he’d felt and how his pain was relieved by a Louis C.K. bit he’d seen shortly thereafter about the same thing. Charlie argued that for comedy to be really funny, it needs to be rooted in reality and pain. He claimed that Diary of a Wimpy Kid was funny because it was brutally honest about middle school, and that The Office, while often hilarious, was actually the saddest show on television, rooted in broken dreams and lost hope.

There is a thin line that separates laughter and pain, comedy and tragedy, humor and hurt.
—Erma Bombeck

There was some debate.  Karol led the charge, along with other Schmoozers, asserting that there are plenty of things, like Captain Underpants and Charlie’s own favorite picture book The Silly Book by Stoo Hample, that are funny precisely because they aren’t heavy, or reality based, but are about silliness, lightness, and fantastic juxtapositions. 

Faced with the Schmoozers well-considered rebuttals, Charlie did the sensible, mature thing and changed the subject.

Comedy is very controlling—you are making people laugh.  It is there in the phrase “making people laugh.”  You feel completely in control when you hear a wave of laughter coming back at you that you have caused.         —Gilda Radner

We went on to discuss technical stuff—tropes and tricks to help the comically impaired:

K’s are funny. P’s are funny. H’s and N’s, not so much.

Odd numbers are funnier than even.

Pickles are funny—they have a P and are phallic. In fact, as the room agreed, anything phallic is funny, including phalluses themselves.

The Rule of 3: Three is the smallest number that forms a pattern and, as such, it creates a classic comic rhythm. Almost every joke has its punch on the third beat. Our new resident comedienne pointed out that this extends to comedy acts themselves. Almost every performer has a punch line that is returned to three times to give their act a structure and spine.

Know Where You Put The Punch. It’s important to give the reader a place to laugh; an actual punch. As a rule it’s at the end of sentences, though sometimes writers place it in the middle to make it seem accidental, like found humor. The important thing is to know where you put it.

Don’t put a joke on a joke. Two jokes cancel each other out. If your setup is funny and wacky, you punch line will feel forced. However a wacky setup may be all you need. Witness the scene in Charlie and The Chocolate Factory, which describes Charlie’s old grandparents who never rose from bed. There is no specific punch line here, but the scene itself is hilarious.

At this point, Charlie and Karol ran out of things they’d Googled.

I don’t want to gain immortality by my humor.
I want to gain it by not dying.
—Woody Allen

Thankfully, the Schmoozers were in excellent form, with many new attendees (including a very funny comedienne) who added a lot to the evening’s discussion.

Eventually, we got to the really fun part of the night - sharing and deconstructing our favorite funny passages.  Here are some we remember:

 

Karol read from Libba Bray’s Beauty Queens 

and Chris Crutcher's King of the Mild Frontier: 

An Ill-Advised Autobiography.

Charlie read from The Silly Book 

by Stoo Hample.

Another new schmoozer read a hilarious 

bit from I Was A Teenage Dwarf by Max 

Shullman, the writer who created Dobie Gillis.

Longtime Schmoozer Greg Pincus, an author 

himself of a hilarious new ebook, The Late Bird, 

read Crowded Tub by Shel Silverstein (read it here).

Karol also passed on “the 7 different types of humor” (according to Erik Deckers’ Laughing Stalk blog):

Farce: Exaggerated comedy. Characters in a farce get themselves into an unlikely or improbable situation that takes a lot of footwork and fast talking to get out of.

Dark: Humor about the gross, violent, and otherwise depressing things in life; also called Black Comedy (think M*A*S*H). “Gallows Humor” is similar to dark humor, but the victim is the source of the comedy.

Screwball: Humor based on a misunderstanding, such as mistaken identities, taking an overheard piece of conversation out of context, etc.

Slapstick: Physical humor. Lots of pratfalls, falling, being hit on the head, etc.

Parody: People often confuse this with satire, but the two are completely different. Parody mocks or makes fun of an original work of art.

Satire: Satire is basically making fun of or ridiculing human follies and shortcomings, hopefully in the hopes of causing improvement.

Dry: Dry humor is a deadpan style of humor, that not-very-funny joke your uncle the cost analysis accountant tells.

What if you tell a joke in the forest, and nobody laughs?  Was it a joke?
— Steven Wright

That pretty much wrapped up our Comedy Tonight discussion…except wait! We’ve forgotten possibly the most essential comedy element: The Callback.

Charlie: “Hey, Karol. Wasn’t there some question you wanted to ask me?”
Karol: “There was! How many writers dose it take to change a light bulb?”
Charlie: “(haughtily) What is it about the light bulb that you think needs changing?!?”

 

That’s it for us!  

Keep passing the open windows.

Charlie & Karol